The Cave

Whether you’ve heard of Plato’s cave allegory before, I find this extremely relevant and quite scary. I guess it wasn’t until a few months ago, that I realised I was living in a cave.

What we see – the limited world we are shown – shapes what we know. We only know what we know, right? And if all we know is limiting, fabricated, artificial and influenced by invested interest… how are we ever able to form authentic opinions and make our own choices?

Even more, if all that facade clouds our eyes, mind and hearts – how are we ever meant to be sane?

You’re not alone, we all feel the confusion, disorientation and anxiety. It’s natural, especially in the cave I was in.

The cave for me was mass media, social media, pop culture… I grew up watching disney movies and playing with barbies, then I watched every single rom com out there, every episode of Sex and The City and looked forward to watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show each year. I followed girls who took pride in how thin they were, how sexy they could be in photos and videos, how successful they were online. That was what I saw. That’s what I knew. I gave hours and hours of my time to these fabricated ideas of being.

So yes, thin, tanned, genetically beautiful (and altered) ideas of feminine beauty… surrounded me before I even learnt to read. I wanted my knight in shining armour, I wanted the thrown and I wanted to save the world. That’s the perfect person right? I wanted to see everything, feel everything, be everything. It was all an illusion, that kept me wanting more and more. Nothing I did could ever live up to these never ending perfect 2D realities… because that’s all they are; altered, manufactured and made for profit illusions.

So I spent money on endless travel, clothes, things. I spent most of my time taking perfect pictures and creating this online identity that got me more of everything I thought I wanted.

I was in the cave and succeeding at everything they told me I would want. And I was miserable. That’s when I thought something was wrong with me.

Then I stepped out of the cave. Briefly, not leaving at first, just peaking out. I turned my phone off and I went about my days makeup free, loose clothes and untouched hair. For me, that was scary. I realised how much of my identity was skewed around this artificial world: social media status and my appearance.

I stopped both things, and suddenly I saw the cave I was in, along with the majority of the people I knew.

That’s when I finally could see the rest of the world, the pain, the deception, the smoke and mirrors, the pretty smiles and ugly truth. I saw it everywhere, especially in myself. And that… well you can imagine how frightening that was.

I left the cave, not because I was brave or forced… simply because I couldn’t live in cave knowing it was just a cave. There’s a world out there that offers so much more than that dark place.

I’m not going to pretend it was easy or that life is now perfect not being imprisoned by those consumerist and artificial ideas of happiness. Each day I walk further and further away from it. It’s overwhelmingly sad seeing so many people you love still in it. Suffering, inflicting suffering on others… profit, loss, it’s never ending torturous cycle.

The cave was so safe for me and everyone in it, thought I was succeeding.

But there is no winner in the cave, it’s just an illusion, everyone is struggling for more, more, more and more and more and more.

Everyone back in the cave thought I was insane for wanting to leave. They called me hysterical and a liar for saying how much of myself was not real. It’s because they see me in themselves. And it scares them. Terrifies them, especially those that think they are succeeding above the rest.

It’s not their fault though. And that’s what makes me sad… they only know what they see plastered in front of them; status, money, power, numbers… that’s everything they know and think will keep them safe. I guess security feels nice before you see the torture it brings your soul, and those who aren’t as lucky. The safety is all an illusion. What would they do if we all just ran free?

The cave is never safe, not really. They profit off those in it. They keep them in there so they feel in control, powerful. They profited off my ignorance and I profited off yours.

But there’s no gain when you live in a cave. Who would choose a small dark controlled place over the rest of this glorious world. Who would choose to be trapped if they knew there was a possibility of freedom?

The cave isn’t small though, that’s what’s really scary. The cave has got so many of us trapped, down so deep they start defending it’s darkness. I did for so long.

All I want is to free the children, they will see through the shadows.

[December 14, 2015]